American Gift Club

Many people have a contorted idea of what success is and isn’t. So what’s the answer?

Over the years, I have heard dozens of definitions of success or:

· what success is
· what success can be
· how to find success
· how to maintain success
· how to enjoy success
· how to feel successful when you aren’t
· how to share your success
· who is successful and who isn’t
· why success is important
· why we lose success
· and numerous similar concepts.

I would like to focus on what success isn’t, and what gets in our way as we search after it.

Please keep in mind that success is defined differently by everyone. Each of us puts our own personal twist on what we feel represents success in our lives. To one person success is money, to another it is good health. To many it is a pleasant lifestyle, and to others just getting through another day. During my life, I have been at the bottom of the barrel and I have been to the mountaintop. I have known the sting of failure and the thrill of achievement. But in all of these circumstances, the one concept that helped me maintain a sense of inner peace and calm was my definition of success - that became the watchword for my life during whatever was going on in my world.

Success isn’t:
· more money than you can spend.
· career accolades.
· a position of influence.
· a new car every year.
· a bigger house.
· financial security

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Professionals tell us that two human emotions cannot occupy the same space at the same time…you’re either sad…or you’re happy! My choice is to be happy…or, at least try to be happy!

I’ve been in the humor business for a long time, and I never get tired of putting a smile on somebody’s face, even if it’s just for a few seconds, etc. The sound of laughter is great! Humor started for me when I was eleven years old, and you can read about how it all started in another piece I wrote entitled, How I Got Started in Humor.

Laughter is the best medicine, and it has been humor that has helped me to cope through my darkest days…and, there have been many! Humor is therapeutic for me…and, I use it through thick and thin. Everytime I put a smile on somebody’s face, it makes my day…it gives me a lift. I know I’ve done something to make somebody happy, and that’s important to me.

So, how does humor help me to cope? Example: I was in the hospital once for about a week, and when I got there, I was in intensive care, with a bleeding stomach! One day, a nurse came into the room carrying a clip board and she was going to ask me several questions. She said there were about 15 questions she would ask me, so she began.

Everytime she would ask me a question, I would answer it with a silly or ridiculous answer in an attempt to make her laugh, and then I would follow the silly answer with a straight and serious answer! It was a little game I was playing with her, and she seemed to enjoy it. The nurse asked me questions that went something like this:

Nurse: "Mr. Aragon, do you smoke?"

Jerry: "Only when I’m on fire!"

Nurse: "Mr. Aragon, do you drink?"

Jerry: "Drink what? Orange juice…carrot juce…what? I don’t drink anymore…I don’t drink any less, either!" (Gotcha)

Nurse: "Mr. Aragon, are you allergic to anything?"

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This is sage advice for those who have been fortunate enough to find that one true friendship. Or perhaps you have maintained friendships from your days in elementary school. Whatever the case, friends are previous gifts we give to ourselves.

As children, friendships are vitally important, most notably as it relates to the socialization process. Meeting a new friend the first day of school is essential, especially if one is particularly shy. Perhaps another girl would sense the shyness and offer a hand in friendship. Forming friendships with others from different cultures enhances a child’s early experiences as well, and plants a seed that is healthy and which can be nurtured throughout life. But, preserving friendships are often difficult, even under the best of circumstances. Whether a friend moves away; or leaves school; or becomes ill, it is especially hard on a child. They are resilient, however, and somehow cope with the loss.

As the child becomes a teen, the word friendship takes on a different connotation. While some teens exhibit the closeness and bonding prevalent during their parents’ day; others are not so conducive to this type of friendship. Instead, they form gangs which they refer to as their family, and commit acts which were unheard of twenty or thirty years ago. It makes one wonder if this type of friendship is born out of a home where caring and nurturing is non-existent. Or has peer pressure to act and dress a certain way erased all that was taught in the early years of their childhood. Girls become vicious to each other; more so than boys, and it’s inconceivable that a meaningful true friendship exists in that environment.

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1. Have a solid friendship. - Ask yourself what kind of friend you are being to your mate. Whether it be talking about silly things or sharing a good joke together. Apply that same openness to your own relationship. If you want a good friend, be a good friend.

2. Meet each others’ needs. - The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of two people. Maybe she needs a soft place to fall that day or she needs a shoulder to cry on. The wife doesn’t always need to agree with the husband, but she should figure out his needs, whether it’s saying that she’s proud of him, or that he looks nice that day.

3. Set specific goals. - Wake up each morning and say, "What can I do today to advance the ball?" Even small things will accumulate over time and make a difference. Find a quiet moment each day and come up with a specific goal to improve your relationship, whether it’s calling your spouse during the day just to say hi, or telling your mate that you love him or her more often. Make a conscious effort.

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Why is it so difficult to keep the juices flowing in a relationship? Why does the momentum of the relationship fade away? Is it inevitable that after some years the initial freshness turns into devastating boredom? Or worse, that two people who were first lovers end up hating and destroying each other? Real love is supportive. Love yourself, love your dream, love your mission, love your life, and surely enough, a wonderful person will show up and love you even more.

Why do so many relationships fall into monotony after a while, ending up like crumpled leaves hanging from a dead tree? Why is it so difficult to keep the juices flowing? Why does the momentum of the relationship fade away? Is it inevitable that after some years the initial freshness turns into devastating boredom? Imagine a blossoming, appetizing, juicy red-and-yellow peach, and then see it transform into a dark-brown, wrinkled, dried-up prune. Where did the freshness go? Where did the juice go? Where did the life go? The envelope is still there, the outside still exists, but inside there is nothing left: no more life, no more pleasure, no more fun, no more love, only vinegar. In the beginning of a relationship, the juices flowing through your body are boosted up by the attention and interest of that significant other. Everything looks great, you’re blossoming, even your body is “filled up” by the other’s attention for you.

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Friendship and friends continue to remain central to our lives. The relationship that we share with our friends is grounded in a mutual concern as our friends help us in shaping up our personalities as well. Even in this age of online social networking and ecards, the need of expanding the network of friends, whether online or offline remains a primary concern for people. We may have a very vague understanding of what makes a friend but we all want to have a good many number of friends around us.

Research has shown that the quality and nature of your friends are one of the key influencing factors in achieving happiness, self esteem, and satisfaction. Friends often affect the health and energy of a person as well. More and more people are increasingly turning towards their friends for support and mutual sharing rather than communicating to their relatives; and this sociological phenomenon has escalated the desire to make more friends. Though friendship is an impulsive relationship developed between two autonomous individuals marked by a voluntary, emotional and mutual concern, but there are certain steps, which, if implemented can win you friends or at least help you get close to those whom you want to make your friends.

The first step to make friends with someone is to make them like you. If they don’t like you in the first place, it is unlikely that they’ll be eager to become your friends. To let someone know that you are genuinely interested in them, simple gestures like a little smile and calling him by his name can lay the basic foundation. To make the other person feel important you need to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk. Give your honest and sincere opinion but do not overtly criticize or make fun of him or her.

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Friends are a gift of God. If we have good friends, we should assume that God has showered us with His unlimited grace. What does a good friend mean? What are the differences between ordinary friends and good friends? What is friendship?

Let us begin our enquiry by asking about what is friendship? Can it be defined? What is the relationship of friendship? What qualities does this relationship have? When two persons share common interests, care for each other, enjoy being together and help each other, they are called as friends. Is this a correct definition? It broadly covers the areas of friendship.

For being a good friend, we should share more of these qualities. Is that right? Say, you share some interests with your friend, and there are few things that interest you, but are of no interest to your friend. Does this make your friendship ordinary? Sit back and count your good friends. Now count the interests that you share and those that you don’t. Is there any mathematical formula? Can one be a good friend, even if one shares very few interests? Provided of course, that our qualities that I mentioned above are in plenty?

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American Gift Club